And I popped the question – No, not THAT one

After two happy years with my current job, it came to the point where I either move on or lay down and wait to bore myself to death. The driving (dark) force behind this urge is of course the plans I have for my life, and for the time being the long and winding road appears to lead me to another country. Or at least I try to trample down all the grass and make my way there. The last straw is what we are doing these days at work – almost nothing. It really saddens me that something that used to give me excitement, gratification, sense of achievement, stomach aches, panic attacks and dark circles now seems to give me only one thing: boredom. When you have a job, you really hope there's something to work on.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not thrilled to get out. I like my boss and I generally have great times working with my colleagues. (Well, maybe I'm too clammed up to really get to mingle with them, but that's not the point here.) That's why when I popped the question at my boss asking him for discharge, it wasn't as easy as I hoped. I felt bad leaving the team at such a bad time, but honestly leaving is just a matter of time. What he said kind of made me feel worse and better at the same time: "My fear just came true. I know I can't keep you here and I'm happy for you. It's a great loss to the company. There are people out there who have a good eye on talents. Good for them. Too bad you are leaving the company so early. I was considering you as a candidate to lead the team if I am assigned to cultivate another market." Whoa. Didn't see that coming. It's always nice to know that you're appreciated, but then that's sadly not enough to keep me there.

That's one thing done. Now I'll just focus on keeping my fingers crossed that the new company will follow through with the offer.