Typhoon categories - the way they are supposed to be

Ask anyone who has a job but doesn't have the luxury to work from home and they will tell you this: the weather bureau doesn't know jack about categorizing typhoons. How can you measure a typhoon by its strength alone?! This system leaves out so many important factors. Unbelievable. This is how a better system should look like.

• Category "We Luv U":
  Little wind, little rain, no damage, and paid days off. Please come again soon.
  


• Category "Nuisance":
  Some wind, some rain, some or no damage, no paid days off, and lots of wet pants and musky socks. Smelly and uncomfy and unsanitary but basically harmless.
  


• Category "Average Joe":
  Strong wind, heavy rain, lots of damage and paid days off. Nothing special about them.
  


• Category "Frigging Useless":
  Strong wind, heavy rain, lots of damage, arrival on weekends and holidays, and tens of millions of grumpy people stranded indoors. Please go away and stay away, you worthless mass of clouds.

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Supertyphoon Sepat
Typhoon warning: Friday, 8/17/2007 night through Sunday, 8/19/2007
Movement: NW 18km/hr
Maximum Wind Speed: 51m/s
Gust: 63m/s
Radius of 15m/s: 250km
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